Handling A Break Up
Break up- is often a commonly used term for relationship failure or end of a romantic relationship. Like all losses, break up is often followed by grief and feelings of losing a part of oneself. Break ups are often internally traumatic, and the sufferer is often left to make sense of the reminiscences and symbols of the relationship. Low mood, negative thoughts, feelings of betrayal, guilt, hopelessness, feelings of emptiness, preference for solitude are usually seen in such situation. Some other symptoms like ideas of self harm, suicide, inability to do daily usual activities, use of alcohol or other drugs, etc may also be seen in a subgroup of persons.
Here are some of the tips which may help you in handling the break up in a more healthy manner-
- Please remember that good and bad times are not permanent. Time is one of the biggest healer, hence please remember the age old adage that “this too shall pass“. Negative thoughts will come and seemingly sweep you like waves, however never forget that once you let the wave pass the feelings will reduce.
- Do not fall into the trap of alcohol, drugs or self medication. These behaviors will rather add to your agony and make the suffering last longer. Hence, please stay away from these behaviors especially when your mind is in a vulnerable phase.
- Please do not isolate yourselves. Rather make efforts to stay around people who care for you like your family and/or friends. Being around them will heal you faster.
- Talk about the hurt – do not hide your feelings in the deepest corners of yourselves. Share, talk, ventilate- having someone listen to you and provide a ear can be a great help. Do not distance these resources and support from self.
- Try to maintain your schedule- please try to maintain your schedule in terms of sleeping and waking timings, eating healthy and regularly, work routine, self care etc. However the key is not to enforce the routine upon yourselves, but rather helping the routine take you forward.
- Pursue a hobby or past time of your choice- often the pace of life and chaos does not permit us time to follow our passions. Take time out which is unoccupied now to do something you have always liked and wanted to do. Yes! This is the time.
- Do not fall for a rebound relationship- rebound relationships are often doomed, and you don’t want to set up another trap for yourself. Do you?
- Focus on the lesson learnt- every life event, howsoever seemingly negative has some message for us. If we take the learning from this failure and make ourselves a better being for the future self and relationships. May be we are on the right track.